disappearing act...

Today has been pretty productive so far. I got up around 8:00, and noticed that my stomach looked weird. Yes, I know you must be thinking "weird how?"...well it has mainly been looking very round, probably because of the gas and bloating. This morning, it seemed like it was clay, and everything had been moved around and reshaped. The area near my biggest incision was almost concave, and it seemed at my waistline that I had a definable waist again. So, I went upstairs to weigh, since I'm still sleeping in the recliner, and I had lost 2.2 pounds from yesterday. All Chris and I could figure, was that I had lost it directly from that middle part of my stomach. (heeheehee) I guess normally weight loss is so slow, that you don't normally notice changes like that, but when you're losing 2 pounds a day, parts of you may just disappear. ;)

I am down 17.8 pounds today. I can definitely tell a difference in my face, which doesn't look as round as it did in the hospital from the water weight, and clothes are starting to feel more loose. Also, my shoes are feeling bigger, which means I'm losing in my feet, and I just tightened my watch band another to another hole. This is the part I've been waiting for!!! I can handle only drinking protein shakes, crystal light, and the occasional strained cream soup if I start seeing a difference on the scale, and on my body. :)

Last night I went to Target, and got some clothes in the next size down that were on sale with one of my giftcards. I tried things on when I got home, and it looks like in maybe 2-3 weeks I'll be ready to wear them. They "fit" now, but I've never been the type to wear clothes that are too tight. I'm glad I can get clothes like that now, because I know that soon I'll be able to wear them, and I can keep trying them on and notice the disappearing parts of my body. With other diets, it normally takes so long to be able to make that change, but now it will be pretty soon. Yay! Thanks to my 4th and 5th grade teacher co-workers for the Target gift card! :)

I am done with my percocet, and I have a few left over from a kidney stone I had a few years ago, but so far today I haven't taken anything, and I feel okay. I still have soreness in my stomach area, and my back hurts if I'm standing too long, but I know those things will recede with time.

Thanks to everyone for your supportive comments about my blogging! I'm glad you're enjoying reading it, hopefully as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Have a great Sunday!

Friday Morning

Good morning everyone. I am having some pain today. I am getting low on my percocet, and when I tried taking children's motrin for muscle pain like my surgeon recommended, it didn't do anything. I also realized that I am feeling cramps...just as I thought I was almost done. Lovely. I guess I'm being paid back for years and years of sporadic periods. :)

I'm watching Regis and Kelly. I am loving my little "cave" set up in the family room. Picture this: me in a green comfy recliner, wrapped in a warm ivory blanket with pink, green, and brown polka dots. To my left is a TV tray, with my medicines, two containers of water, and my newest addition--a bottle of white grape crystal light (yummy) that I put in ice in my cute white wine cooler. ;) It makes drinking it just a little more fun. In front of me is my new laptop desk on wheels that Chris bought for me, but I actually have my little Acer notebook laptop in my lap. To my right is another TV tray, with my calendar, my journal-where I'm marking my liquids and pills all day, my breathing aspirometer (I think that's what it's called), pens, a pad, and the remotes. To my very right, is the coffee table with my little stuffed doggie my mom gave me in the hospital, my cell phone, purse, a new pad Jackie gave me yesterday that says "Wow- Look at you...fabulous" :) which has some things to do on it today, my lipgloss, a digital alarm clock, and the Hoops and Yoyo "Let's Get Hydrated" talking water bottle Chris got me in the hospital. On the coffee table I have my Nora Roberts book, all of my cards, and some notecards to write thank you notes. I could seriously rule the world right from here. Chris tries to sneak into my lair when I get up to get my liquids at night. On Wednesday I let him recline there for an hour or so, but last night I was feeling some pain, so he had to move it.

Yesterday I had my first "full" feeling. It wasn't terrible, but it feels like it would if you had just eaten a big meal- bloated, but without feeling nauseous or like I have to use the bathroom. I had gone upstairs to work on some labels, and I took my new cute water bottle from Anna with me, and I just sipped from it. For most of the week, I'd been pouring 2 oz. of liquid into little Dixie cups, so I knew exactly how much I was consuming. I guess I either wasn't thinking, or subconsciously wanted to make sure I didn't get dehydrated, and I started feeling so full. I didn't drink for about a half hour after that, and eventually the feeling passed, but I'm glad I experienced that, so I know what to expect when I start eating.

I had a great day yesterday. Jackie came to visit, and she wanted to take me to see Suzi's new baby Braden with her at the hospital. We were going to surprise her. It was nice to get out of the house...we went to Target and walked around for about 10 minutes, and then went back to her house to hang out until Suzi was ready for us. When we got to Rex, Suzi was so surprised to see us, and we had a nice visit. I was a little afraid to hold Braden, since I was having some pain still in my stomach, but in the end I decided to and I just held him to my right. He is so precious- 7lbs 11oz, and 21 inches long--very tiny. It was really nice to see her and spend time with them yesterday. When I got home I was tired, but I had done a good job with my protein and liquids all day, and I was able to relax with Chris.

Well, today I'm taking it slow, resting and working on a few orders. I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and a super weekend! :)

Another Good Day

Tomorrow hits the week mark of when I had my surgery. I am feeling better and better each day. Today my pain is still around my stomach area, where it hurts to stand straight, and stretch that area out. If I'm in my recliner, then it doesn't hurt, but when I walk around, I sort of hunch over to make it not hurt. I've been very diligent with my liquids all day, and sort of freaked out when I went to my doctor's appointment, because it threw off my hourly schedule. :) But, when I got home I made up for it, and of course I'm fine.

My surgeon Dr. Sudan took out my staples today, and it didn't hurt which was great. He said my other small wounds are healing nicely, and the incision itself looked great. I've been using triple anti-biotic ointment on the other incisions, so that has helped them not to peel. He asked if I've had any major pain, nausea or vomiting, or problems with my bowels, and I answered no to all of them, so he was really pleased. It made me feel good to realize too that I haven't had any of those side effects, except for a little pain around the stomach, and I am blessed that even though I suffered more in the hospital, afterwards has been pretty smooth so far.

I've really enjoyed my relaxation during the day. I have read some, done some things on the internet, watched TV, movies, and taken naps. I realize that doing those things is so important to the healing process. I had to stop myself from trying to tidy things in our bedroom, or do laundry, because it hurts to bend over and also I can't lift anything heavier than 5 lbs. I told Chris that he's had his two nights to recover from the hospital, so it's time to pitch in. :) Normally this is "fun track out wife" time, but for him it's been more work, and he's been great about it.

Today I painted my nails and toenails with a pretty new nail polish I got from Allison, and I feel more normal again. Maybe tomorrow I'll actually blow dry my hair...nah...I don't have anywhere to go, so what's the point? :)

My actual weight loss seems slow so far, but it's only because I'm measuring it to my pre-surgery weight. In the hospital I gained so much due to the fluids and gas, so I've actually lost a lot so far, even if it doesn't seem like it on the scale yet from my pre-surgery weight. At the doctor's office, I was down about 10 pounds since my pre-op appointment the week of surgery, so that's a good measure of actual weight loss I've had so far. But, I know I still have some gas and bloating (since my clothes feel snug) and that will go away eventually.

Honestly, I'm not hungry at all, and I'm tolerating the liquids pretty well. I've had a few food cravings, which usually happens when a commercial is on TV, but it's not been extreme or hard to handle. I'm sure I'll get more sick of the liquids as I go on in the next two weeks, but now it's okay.

Alright, well Chris just got home from the driving range, and I'm going to go spend time with him while he cleans up our bedroom. Good night!

Long awaited update :)

I feel like I’ve been through a couple of wars in the past few days since surgery. Whoever told me that it wasn’t going to be that painful after surgery, and that I wouldn’t care about walking and moving around because of all of the pain medication were SUPER WRONG!!!!!! The pain I had Thursday and Friday especially was EXCRUCIATING. There is nothing on Earth that can describe that feeling in words. For anyone who’s had surgery, you know what I’m talking about. Every little move, every breath, every batting of your eye is painful. All I can think is that later on as time progresses, I’ll forget some of that pain, but it’s still pretty fresh right now.

I am sipping my lukewarm broth right now, after having been up since 8:00 or so. Being home feels wonderful, and I am slowly getting my energy back. Let me tell you what an angel Chris has been. I never had any question before in my mind, but the way he has treated me after surgery, and the way he has been there for me…there is just nothing like it. All of the talks about my fears before the surgery, attending all of the appointments with me, and he was by my side as a second nurse the whole time in the hospital. The night before the surgery, he gave me a beautiful “journey” pendant necklace, which took my breath away. Obviously this is very fitting since we will be going through this journey together. He also wrote me 5 letters, which focus on the 5 love languages- a book which has been recommended by some of his co-workers. He wrote me a letter for each love language-physical touch, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service—how he will show me these things in different ways after the surgery. He has been absolutely wonderful in so many ways, and I could spend hours and hours talking about him and all that he has done for me.

Here is a timeline of the actual days in the hospital:
Thursday: surgery- this took much longer than expected. Once the performed the procedure, and flushed some water and air down there, there were tiny bubbles which escaped, signifying a leak. He basically had to do the whole surgery over again, re-cutting the stomach and the intestine, and attaching them together with a new stapler and there were no leaks after that. He said the main problem was the first stapler—if didn’t work like it was supposed to. So, the surgery ended up taking about 5 hours instead of 90 minutes. Thursday was very blurry for me. I felt in and out of consciousness the whole day- I would hear certain conversations and then blank out again. I just remember there being SO MUCH PAIN, when I was awake, and I really regretted the surgery.

Thursday night into Friday: I remember really getting after two of the nurses Thursday night. My oxygen was getting low-about 80%, and they want it to be at 90. 2 nurses came in and told me very politely, “Christina, we need you to take nice slow, deep breaths”. Well, that was all fine and dandy, except I just couldn’t do it. It hurt so much, that I could not get a deep breath. I started having anxiety over the fact that I couldn’t get in a deep breath. Finally I told the nurse, “I just can’t do it, so stop saying the same things over again. I’m trying.” Chris said she put her hands up and said, “Alright then” and left the room. After that I started thinking that I need some Xanax, which is what I take for my anxiety. When I feel an attack coming on, I usually have a hard time breathing, so that’s what was happening. After asking for it repeatedly Thursday and then Friday as well, they gave me some Adavan in my IV…but I was angry that it took so long. They kept telling me before surgery that they would give me my anxiety medicine normally, and the surgery wouldn’t affect that. That was one of the hardest hurdles to overcome in the hospital, and once I had some medicine available to me for anxiety, things were much much better.

Friday: They took me in the morning for a barium swallow test, to check again for leaks. This is normally not done afterwards anymore, but since they had found some originally, they wanted to be sure. That was another painful experience…having to wait and wait, coming in and out of consciousness, and having to drink lots of stuff. One thing that REALLY annoyed me, was the two women I was with for the majority of the test. It was pretty obvious, that one of them was teaching the other one what to do. So it went like this, “So, next I should put the machine here?” and the other one would say too sweetly, “No, actually first we’ll do it like this and then put it there. Remember about blah blah blah?” What I wanted to shout was THIS WILL TAKE HALF THE TIME IF THE FIRST ONE WOULD JUST DO THE FREAKIN TEST BY HERSELF!!! Must I listen to the two of you about each thing you’re doing? The man that came in to read the test was nice, and he helped me keep my sanity, but it was just another unpleasant experience.

Later on, they took me for another test, and this one was to see if things were going into the intestine correctly. My mom and Chris were there for that, and were really worried about the results, but luckily things came out normal. The one complaint I have about that test, was one of the guys who helped me get from the bed to the table was rough at first, I cried out in pain, and he was like, “sorry” and after that he stepped away so the rest of the people could help me. Geez…is he that rough with everyone? Traveling around the hospital in a rolling bed is an experience too. You’re not in control, and you can feel every bump.
They took my catheter out on Friday, and I had a discovery soon after that—I had my period!! I have not gotten my period on my own but about 3 times in the past 13 years or so, so that was quite a shock. It is kind of amazing why it happened, and of course threw another wrench into dealing with that too after the surgery. Chris was really worried that I was bleeding from something else, but we were finally able to convince him that it was my period. We still don’t know from the doctor why it happened. Also, I’m going to get even more gross here ;) I actually had two small bowel movements. Chris said when he told the nurses, they did the “happy poopy dance” like I was 2 again.  I guess once that happens, they know things are working correctly, and normally it doesn’t happen until a few days later.

Saturday: Went by pretty uneventfully. I felt better and was getting a little stronger. I had started the liquids which were going down fine, and taking all of my medicines regularly. I still needed help using the bathroom, and I wasn’t walking around much, but I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Chris got a call from my surgeon, who had gone out of town on Saturday, and he checked in which was great. We had a visit from Dr. Hamly, who brought his little kids with him on his rounds, and he was the doctor checking in on me since mine was gone. His kids were wearing scrubs, which was so cute, and they even used the foam on their hands to wash them as they left the room.

Sunday: I got the all clear that I could go home in the morning. We were prepared for an 11:00 departure, so Chris spent the morning packing up, and taking things to the car. I was off oxygen now, and doing fine with breathing on my own. So, in order to have a comfortable ride home, and to help with the pain I currently had, I took 2 oxycodone and my xanax. Well…that little cocktail had me asleep in minutes, and I slept for about 2 hours. When I woke up, my oxygen was low again, and it sounded like they were worried and didn’t want me to leave! I told them it’s just because I didn’t sleep with my CPAP during the nap, and then after a little while after they hooked me back up to oxygen, it was raised again, and I was able to go home around 5:00. They went over my discharge papers with me, gave me my prescriptions, and we were off.

Being home was good, but I was really tired and sore. We’re borrowing a recliner from my parents, which has been great, so I’ve got a little cave set up for me downstairs. It’s surrounded by TV trays with books, my laptop, gifts, cards, and my medicines and water bottle.

The liquid diet has been fine so far…it just gets to be so tedious that I have to drink every 15 minutes. In the hospital when they weighed me on Friday, I weighed 17 lbs higher than I had the day before. That was all from the gas they use to inflate your belly, and the IV liquids they had me on. Once I started going to the bathroom, I had to go every hour, and I peed a LOT! When they weighed me again before I left, I think I had lost about 10 of those pounds, and at our scale at home now, I’m about 2 pounds down from my weight on Thursday morning pre-surgery. Today I weighed the same as yesterday, which is a little discouraging, but I can’t look on that at all. I have to see the fact that this WILL work, and I guess I have lost about 19 lbs post surgery, which is good. I still do feel some gas, so I don’t think I’m finished with that yet.

I’ve been so spoiled by everyone, and even though I’m doing individual thank you notes, thank you all for the cards, emails, phone calls, facebook messages, gifts, flowers…all of the little special things you’ve done to tell me you’re thinking about me. I know that I have a ton of support as I continue through this journey.
One thing I want to say, is even though I had a lot of complaints at the hospital, I really liked my nurses, and everyone there was great. I’m sure a lot of it was ME, and once I was feeling better I wasn’t so grumpy.

Every day I feel stronger, but I still have some pain. It is mainly on my left side, under my breast, which is where my stomach is. I have been taking 1 percocet every 4 hours to help with that, and stretching and moving around some helps as well. I wonder if I have more pain in that area, because they spent so long there during the surgery. We’ll have to ask the doctor. I have an appt. with the doctor tomorrow, to take my staples out from where he put the drain in. Also, tonight there is a seminar at Duke, from 6-7:30 that Chris and I are going to attend, so I can listen and share some of the things I’ve been going through.
I have decided not to come back to school early, before the three weeks is up. They don’t want me to go back for 3 weeks, and said you could only go back early if you have a desk job and you wouldn’t be moving around or doing that much. Having a 15 liquid diet is hard enough to manage, surprisingly, and I definitely could not do that AND teach and worry about all of the demands of school too. So, I’ll end up going back on September 14th, instead of tracking in on the 8th.

Well…that was a lot for now, and I’m sure I’ll think of more things to write about the past few days, but that really tired me out! Take care and I hope everyone is doing well.

Surgery Time

I heard from the hospital his afternoon, and they told me my surgery is scheduled for 7:15 a.m., and I need to be at the hospital at 5:45a.m. I am very glad that I am the first case, since hopefully I can't get bumped, and it also gives me a better chance of going home on Friday, instead of Saturday. Call Chris at 389-3161 for an update. I will be at Durham Regional Hospital, on the 6th floor when I'm finally in a room.

Thank you all SO much for your calls today, cards, emails, and messages. I love you all very much, and I am able to get through this with all of your support!

I'll post again when I am able. God Bless you all!

Love, Christina :)

Clear Liquid Day

Well...I had my last meal of solid food last night that I will have for three weeks. My mom made my favorite- spaghetti and meatballs with whole wheat pasta, multi-grain bread, and a salad with homemade Italian dressing, cucumbers, tomatoes, and red onion. It was so delicious, and I'm glad she was here to make my favorite as my "last meal".

I woke up around 8:50, took a shower and put some things out that I want to pack tonight, and then came downstairs to start my Citrate Magnesium. This liquid will help clean out my system to prepare for surgery. I drank it at 10:00 mixed with white grape peach juice. It wasn't a terrible taste, but it was a little salty tasting, and with mixing it to taste better, it actually took a while to drink it. I finally finished the last drop around 10:20. I made some tropical fusion jello, and now I'm drinking hot tea with lemon juice and sweet n low. Today, I am only supposed to have clear liquids: tea, crystal light, consomme soup, jello, popsicles, clear hard candy, juice...things like that.

It's funny how certain things can trigger memories. The last time I remembering having hot tea was in college. My voice teacher would have me drink lots of hot tea whenever I felt like a cold was coming on. Getting a cold was so stressful in college, because since I performed with the women's choir, concert choir, chamber singers, Ladies in Red (our female a cappella group), and recitals with my voice minor, I pretty much had to be healthy all of the time. If I was getting a cold, I would start the hot tea and my voice teacher also told me to drink honey and sugar mixed together. This was actually a little hard to get down, but amazingly would clear my throat! Even now when I feel a cold coming on, I panic, but then quickly remember that the only people I sing for now is my class, and they can wait until I get better before I sing again. :):):)

So, to prepare for staying close to home today, I am sitting at the coffee table downstairs, with my WLS binder of information, my new Nora Roberts novel, the two WLS books I've been reading and highlighting to re-read, a list of thank you notes I want to write with some new notecards I designed, the Sunday paper, my checkbook to pay some bills, and a pad of paper so I can write down any lists I need to do. I am watching The Doctors on TV, and I'm thinking about which DVDs I want to watch today.

I've charted my weight today, since that will be the "starting weight" I measure the weight loss towards. I am also going to take my measurements, so down the road if I'm not seeing as many pounds coming off the scale, I can look at the measurements decreasing.

I had trouble falling asleep last night because my mind was so busy, and I couldn't calm it down. I tried working on my relaxing breathing that the psychologist taught us how to do, and that must have worked, because the next thing I knew Chris was turning off the alarm clock. I hope I don't have trouble falling asleep tonight.

I may write more later on today, but I'm going to go for now. There are some people who have asked to be called or texted after surgery to have Chris let them know how things went. I will also have him send an email to my WLS group on Gmail, once he has access to a computer. I should find out tonight if I am the first case or second case tomorrow, so I'll send an email once I know. The surgery should take anywhere from 2-4 hours, with the average case being 90 minutes.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and well wishes. I'm very excited for tomorrow! :)

Two Days

There is nothing new to report today. I'm enjoying another track out morning, and honestly not feeling too nervous about anything. I've been through all of the information a few times in just explaining things to everyone, so I feel I have all of the knowledge I need at this moment.

When I looked at the calendar, it looks like I might have to delay tracking in. The doctor said to see how I feel, and that sometimes after 2 weeks people are ready to go back to work, if they have a desk job. Yeah...I wouldn't really call teaching a "desk job" so we'll have to see how I'm feeling. :) They said it won't necessarily be incision pain or stomach pain that prevents you from going back before the three weeks is up, but feeling weak since you're not consuming that many calories or vitamins with the liquid diet. Luckily I brought all of my teacher manuals home, so I can write plans if needed, and I'm definitely going to take the time off if I need it. I learned my lesson the hard way, of going back to school to "tough it out" before you're ready, my second year teaching. I had sprained my ankle really badly, and was in a lot of pain, and I kept trying to go back into work. I'd last a few hours, and then have to leave again. If I had just stayed home to begin with, like my principal told me to, I could have rested and healed my ankle sooner, but I kept trying to push it when I wasn't ready. So...I will take the time I need to heal--the kids will be fine without me. (Even though sometimes I think they won't ;) My principal always tells me I like control-I prefer to think of it as "I just want them to be in their routine" heeheehee)

Well, I'm going to watch about 6 episodes of Sex and the City I've DVRed. Enjoy your day, everyone!

Enjoying a Monday morning off...

It feels great to be in my track out morning routine. I am sitting here on the computer, drinking decaf cinnamon hazelnut coffee, watching morning TV. I slept in a little, since Chris and I had stayed up so late trying to catch the last bit of Big Brother that didn't record since golf had run long. So, I had some cottage cheese and yogurt for breakfast, I'm catching up on some emails, and I'm going to go to the gym and run some errands later on.

Last night I went to the grocery store, and bought a LOT of liquids. When Chris saw the bill, he said, "I thought this surgery was going to save us money on food!" :) But, I think I'm probably covered for a while. They said to buy a variety of protein drinks in different flavors, since your taste may change after surgery. I don't really like strawberry flavored drinks, so I stuck with chocolate and vanilla, but I wonder if I'll start liking strawberry after the surgery. I got a bunch of soups, broth, and sugar free popsicles. I feel pretty ready for the liquid diet.

I've lost another 2 and a half pounds, so I'm up to a 5 and a half lbs. loss so far since I've been doing the low carb thing. Grandma and Grandpa had us over for dinner last night, and we had steak and salad, with sugar free pudding for dessert. It was yummy!

So...I need to stick with my gym plan this week. Sometimes it's easier to make myself go over track out, since I'm not so busy and exhausted after a long day at work. But, it's also just as easy to get side tracked with other things and not want to go. But...I know it will also help shrink my liver by Thursday, so I will do it. I hope that I start to enjoy working out more after the surgery. I know that some people love going to the gym, and I'd love to become that kind of person.

My parents are coming into town tonight. They are driving from Wisconsin to be here for a few months, before they head on to Florida. They get in around 5:00, so I told them I'd bring dinner over. I'm going to make a salad with pear, walnuts, and gorgonzola on top of field greens with balsamic vinagrette and grilled chicken on top. I have never made anything like that before, but I remembered when Chris and I ate at the Chef's Table at the Angus Barn, that was the salad we tried, and it was delicious! (and low carb!)

Hope everyone has a great day!

Tracked Out!

So, I am officially tracked out now!!!! Whoo hoo! Even though the thought of surgery is still in my mind, at least I have some forced relaxation for the few weeks afterward. That will be nice, and surely help me be ready to go back in September.

I have lost 3 pounds, since I started the low carb diet. Having the direct incentive of a safer surgery and a better recovery afterwards, has proven to be the best motivation I've had in months. A tiny part of me will still think...oh, you can have a small piece of chocolate or a few crackers, but then thinking of how it directly affects my liver is a great deterrent. They said if you lose some weight before surgery, it will help you feel better directly afterwards while you're recuperating.

I got the latest Nora Roberts and Sandra Brown novels which is I am super excited about reading, received a few gifts from friends at school-the movie Hairspray, People magazine, and some pampering items, so I can take some relaxing baths after (or even before) the surgery. I've also been loaned two other books-one from Ellen Hildebrand and an autobiography by Kristen Chenowith, so my library post surgery is pretty extensive. I'm going to love to watch DVDs afterwards too--I just got The Cutting Edge, and I'd love to have a Julia Roberts, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Diane Keaton marathon, with the other DVDs I currently have. :) I'm sure there will be many episodes on DVR of Sex and the City, so I'll be able to watch them again for the 50th time.

Chris switched the schedule with someone else at work, so now we have the weekend together. He's at a client's event right now, but when he gets home, I think we're going to a movie tonight, and we can just relax together tomorrow. We're going to see his grandparents, who are having us over for dinner tomorrow night, and probably play some poker with them. Nick and I also planned to see a movie on Monday or Tuesday nights, and now my parents have emailed me said they're coming on Monday night too. I think it will be good to keep busy and try to keep my mind off the surgery.

Thank you so much to all of my family and friends who have sent or given me cards, called, emailed, given care packages, and have said they will pray for me during this journey. You truly know who your friends are, when something like this happens, and sometimes I think it can even bring you closer to people. Hearing about my family and friends' stories of loved ones or friends who have had this procedure or a surgery in general, makes me feel like I'm not alone, and I like sharing those stories with them. I know that life is going on for others and things are happening to them too, so I want to support them through what they're going through, and not just make it all about me.

Well...I'm going to continue working on some orders, and doing some chores around the house. Hope everyone has a great Saturday!

A week from today...

Chris and I went to my group pre-op yesterday. Aside from the fact that it was about 4 hours long, ;) it was nice to hear a review of things to come next week and for the first three weeks after the surgery--the liquid diet. We've heard so much information over the last three months, that it tends to all run together, so hearing just about the next month in isolation was very helpful. Plus, I definitely learn best by repetition.

I feel more reassured about the hospital stay. Since the WLS wing at Durham Regional has been recently renovated, the rooms will be nicer, and I will have my own room. They talked about the whole process from checking in when you get there, until discharging. The psychologist, nutritionist, head nurse, and surgeon all spoke, and gave us packets to go over, so I feel very prepared for the procedure itself.

After surgery, the biggest thing to adjust to will be the liquid diet. I will be consuming about 2 oz. of liquid (about a 1/4 cup) every 15 minutes. I will have a protein liquid at the top of the hour, a water type beverage at the 15 and 30 minute intervals--like crystal light, sugar free popsicles, no sugar juice, etc., and then broth or strained soup at the 45 min. mark. At first they said I will be feeling so full it will be hard to get it down, but eventually I'll be able to work up to the 2 oz.

One thing that made us all chuckle a little was when the psychologist told us of a few don'ts during the three weeks. (she said that people have actually done these) 1) Don't chew food and spit it out. Apparently, some people miss the taste of food so much that they think it's okay to have it in their mouth and taste it, but spit it out versus swallowing it. 2) Don't "blend" regular food in the blender and then drink it. I'm not sure anything would taste very good like that, but she said not to take a chicken soft taco, blend it up, and think it is okay to eat it. I think in general, people just miss the taste and flavor of regular food, but I really don't think either of those are very wise after surgery. Mainly they can mess with your mind a little, when you are trying to change behaviors along with what you're physically eating.

One page in the packet that was fun to read, was the list of suggestions of things you can do to relax after surgery, but also keep your mind going (and off of the food you can't eat!) There was a list of about 30 suggestions. One of them was "play the piano". I think I'm going to take that up again. Currently, I only have one real song I play from back when I took lessons, and I think it would be a nice time to learn a few Christmas songs I can play this year during the holidays. Obviously I'll be working on stationery orders, and I have a bunch from people who don't need them until Christmastime, so I can work on those. I plan to read and watch movies, and I will need to be walking about 6 times a day for 10-15 minutes, so that will take some time there too. (and window shopping at the mall counts!) It was good to see that they included some of those ideas in there.

I FINALLY got rid of my "no caffeine" headache today! After weaning myself off caffeine for the past few days, yesterday and today I haven't had any. I had a dull ache in my head for about 36 hours straight (yup, even when I was sleeping ;) but it's finally gone. Let me just say that Tylenol is like taking baby asprin compared to Ibuprofen. I've usually taken 4 Ibuprofen for all of my headaches, etc. for the past few years, so Tylenol basically didn't work at all. I hope I will start feeling the effects of that later on when I have pain. I won't be able to have any NSAIDS (things like Ibuprofen, Aleve, Motrin, etc) after surgery ever again. I guess that's probably good to start now anyway, since I know you can't have those during pregnancy either.

Well...I'm off to make some dinner for Chris and I. We're going to have turkey sandwiches on whole wheat rolls and a salad. They said it would help skrink the liver to have a low carb diet before surgery, so I'm starting that today.

One more thing....I TRACK OUT TOMORROW!!!! I am super excited about this, can you tell? :)

8 Days away...

I started feeling some anxiety today. I assume it is surgery related, but who knows. It's so hard when I feel anxiety coming on, because I get a tightness in my chest, and I never know what it's truly coming from. I always try to rationalize what is happening, and that of course doesn't help...but probably makes it worse. School is always a stresser in the background, but now I think it's probably the surgery. I haven't had an anxiety attack per se since February or so. Even with the stress of the beginning of the school year, everything has gone smoothly so far.

I calm myself with thoughts of the surgery by thinking of the positive outcomes. I think hearing about some of the specific things I will be going through afterwards at pre-op yesterday--like the drainage tube, specifics about the pre and post diets, thinking about incisions in my stomach, and the possibilities of complications, it gets me a little worried.

I guess when I thoughts about the pain associated with surgery enter my mind, I can always think about my brother Nick, who has been through 30+ surgeries in his 28 years. I've been through many of his surgeries with him, and even stayed with him in the hospital. If he can get through that many...some involving an open wound, many stitches, and long recoveries...I can certainly get through this procedure.

I will pray for strength to get through these uncertain times before, during and after things happen. I will certainly be dealing with a lot in the next year.

Pre-Op Appointment Today

My individual pre-op appointment was today, and I learned a few new things about the surgery.

The surgery is scheduled for Thursday August 20th, and I will most likely be in the hospital until Saturday the 22nd. (I had thought it would just be overnight) They said I will probably have my own room. One of the things I will have to deal with after surgery is a drainage tube. The surgeon will put that in, on the left side of my stomach, to aid in not getting an infection after surgery. The tube will probably be removed 5 days after the surgery, and it will take longer to heal than the other incisions. Thank goodness my mom is a nurse, so she can help me with all of this at home care after the surgery! :)

I have a group pre-op on Wednesday, where the psychologist and nutritionist will speak with about 10 of us going through the surgery. At this point, I'm sure I'll get more specifics about diet after the surgery, and some of the emotional things we're all going through now, before surgery. I will have monthly group sessions post-op, so I can get some vitamin shots and learn about life after surgery through their group session topics.

I'll post more on Wednesday. Being in the hospital today, gave me a little more anxiety about the actual day of surgery itself, but once I left I was fine. I hope those feelings start to subside, as I have more information about the actual day itself and after. (but...that may make it worse. Sometimes I like staying in a little protective bubble ;)

Nighty night.

Change to Blog Format

So...I decided to write a blog versus posting to my carepage from Duke. The main reason is because when you want to view the care page, you have to login each time, just to see the update. On here, people can click on the link from their email, which is a lot easier.

I had a blog after college, but stopped it after a while. I guess I'll give it a shot again, and see if I like it. At the very least, it will give me something to do when I'm recovering from the surgery. :)

Weight Loss Surgery

I have been dieting for what seems like my whole life. I've been successful at times, but then just gained the weight back. My doctors tell me that since I have Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) it will be very hard for me to lose weight and keep it off long term. Along with leading a healthy life, and get rid of all of the co-morbities I currently have, my main goal is to get pregnant, which has not happened naturally or with the use of fertility drugs. We've been "trying" for the past 4 years, and nothing has happened. Therefore, I decided to have Gastric Bypass Surgery.

Truly, I started dieting at age 16. I was not overweight when I was younger, but I really noticed that around puberty I started gaining. It was around the first year of high school when my periods stopped, I went to my OBGYN, and she diagnosed me with PCOS. I probably weighed about 180 at the time, and on my 5'3" frame, that is too much. Throughout high school I tried counting calories, and exercising regularly, but nothing really worked. At 16 I tried Weigh Watchers for the first time, and lost 25 lbs. I felt really good, and liked the effects, but wasn't able to keep it off.

At this time in my life, I met a wonderful guy-- Chris. :) We met through Church choir when I was 17, and have been together ever since. Pretty soon, I will have been with Chris for over half of my life. After having been friends, we talked on the phone every night for a whole week from 10:00pm-4:00am, and on the fifth night he said, "I love you". After dating for a month, we decided we wanted to get married...5 years after that we did, and my life has been complete in that way ever since. :)

Throughout my adult life, I have fluctuated between 200 and 270. I've tried Weight Watchers 3 times (officially--on my own probably 3 more times), South Beach, Atkins, counting calories, Nutri-system, working out, and seeing a psychologist for behavior modification. Some of those have been tried multiple times, all with no lasting success. My biggest success of all of them was with Weight Watchers in 2005. I lost 50 pounds, through religiously counting points and exercising. My best friend Kelly and I did it together, which was such a key to success for me. After we both lost about 50 lbs, she got pregnant, and I struggled to keep with it on my own. I can truly say I have never gone more than a month without trying some sort of diet. It's exhausting to think of all of the programs Chris and I have started throughout the years.

My family has been supportive through my weight loss attempts, helping me with specific diets, providing incentives, and just talking with me about my struggles and celebrating my achievements. I used to be very sensitive when we talked about it, but I have gotten much better about that over the years, and I've been more honest with them about how things are going.

Weight loss is the main thing I struggle with in my life. I have a wonderful husband, a loving supportive family, a job I love, and great friends. I'm a perfectionist, organized, and crafty, and I love to make things for people. I just started a stationery business, called Overby Originals, and I've surprised myself and Chris by taking many orders so far...enough to cover the expenses I've incurred. In looking at having this surgery, I don't feel it's going to be some "cure all" solution, because I hate so many things in my life. Honestly, it is the one thing I really DON'T have a handle on, and if I can change this...look out world! :):):)