It's a GIRL!

I am so happy to announce that we are having a girl! I had thought the baby was a girl for the whole pregnancy, but I wasn't sure if I just hoped it was, or that I had some sort of "mother's sense". :) We've decided on the name Anna Katelyn, and we plan to call her Anna Kate. We've already adopted the nickname AOK, because that will be her monogram.

I am feeling Anna Kate pretty regularly now- a few times a day. The movements are still too small for Chris to be able to feel them, so I'm hoping as she gets bigger he will be able to feel it too. It's so amazing- every time I feel them I stop whatever I'm doing and just focus on it. It might be a little hard once I start teaching to just pause in the middle of a lesson, but hopefully by then it won't be so new feeling. ;)

I am feeling so well! I truly haven't been sick at all, I feel strong and healthy, and everything is progressing so well. I was most happy to find out that Anna Kate is healthy and everything is forming as it should. At the ultrasound, the doctor said that her brain has developed like it should, and he can say that there is no chance she has spina bifida, based on how her brain looks. This is what my brother has, and my sister and I have a slightly higher chance of having a child born with spina bifida, since it's in our genes. I am so relieved that everything looks good, and maybe the extra amounts of folic acid I've been taking made the difference!

With Thanksgiving yesterday, there is so much to be thankful for this year. Not only do I have a wonderful family and friends, who have been here for me so far all along, but Chris and I are making our own family FINALLY! I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

Chris paid me a compliment the other day- my Dad was asking me if I'm feeling well throughout the pregnancy, and I said that I really hadn't had any problems. Chris said that he thinks that since I've dealt with so much during and after the surgery, I have a higher tolerance for things going wrong, so I am able to adapt to the pregnancy well, and the side effects that I have felt. I've felt like a hypochondriac in the past before, so this was nice to hear that he thinks I'm handling things well.

We are at the beach this weekend, for Chris and his Dad to fish and use the boat for the last time before winterizing it. In the car on the way down, Chris looked over at me and said, "I'm so glad you're my wife". We truly feel blessed to have each other, and that just touched my heart. I feel since we've had so much time in our marriage to be together just the two of us, that this will strengthen our parenting and being on the same page with issues that come up.

Take care everyone, and Happy Thanksgiving! :)

I'M PREGNANT!!!

The last blog I wrote was so hard, because I had found out on Friday morning, August 20th, exactly 1 year from my surgery, that I WAS PREGNANT!!!! I had maybe suspected that this might be the case from a few symptoms I had been feeling, so Chris and I agreed to take the test that Friday, so it would be a special date to remember, for more than one reason. :) My parents were in town that week, and Chris told them the night before that I might be pregnant (which we'd thought oh so many times before) and that if they got a call from us really early the next morning, that would be why.

On Friday morning, I woke up a little earlier than normal to use the bathroom, around 5:35 or so. I had laid the pregnancy test on the counter, the night before, so I remembered that I was supposed to take the test with my first urine. As I sat there, I recalled a dream I had just woken up from, where I found out I was pregnant. I watched the test, and it immediately showed two little blue lines in the correct circles. I shook my head in disbelief, and went to check the box. Sure enough, this test said I was pregnant! I took out another test from under the sink, a different brand, and tried that one too. This one was pink, and showed a positive test as well. With tears in my eyes, I went to wake up Chris, and told him the awesome news. He sprang out of bed, and came to view the evidence. We stood in the bathroom and hugged, and I cried, for about 5 minutes, checking the tests over and over again. Then the calling began. :)

Since we had been waiting so long for this, everyone had told us that they wanted to be called the moment we found out. We called my parents, and no one answered. We tried Chris's parents, and again got the machine. (It was around 6:00a.m. at this point!) My parents called us back, and we shared the happy news. They were ecstatic!! Then we tried Chris's parents again, and they were ecstatic too! What wonderful news that has been so long in the waiting. After that we called our sisters, grandparents, and other family members and close friends. I could not believe it was true, and I kept going back to check the tests over and over that morning.

At school that day, it was track out day, and it was all I could do to stop myself from grinning ear to ear. Luckily, I'm a pretty happy person normally, so no one suspected anything was up. ;) I called and made my doctor's appt, thinking they would want to confirm the pregnancy, but they said they just wanted to see me at my 9 week point. On that Friday, I was about 5 weeks in.

Chris and I kept texting and calling each other all day and our moms did too! ;) We were able to celebrate in person with everyone that night, since my parents were in town, and then I tracked out, so at least I would be able to keep the secret for a little while without too much trouble.

Since I found out, I have been feeling really good for my first trimester. I have some breast tenderness and feel sleepy a lot, but I haven't had any morning sickness. I've been walking more, and my food intake continues to be good and normal. I had my yearly appt. with my surgeon, and he was happy with the news. I got my bloodwork back, and everything looks phenominal! My blood pressure, cholesterol, and trigycerides are all so low, and all of my vitamin levels are great.

This is obviously the right time in our lives for me to get pregnant. I'm the healthiest I've been in my whole adult life. I'm due April 20th, which is perfect as far as school goes. I'll take about 6 weeks of sick leave, and have a 3 week track out in between, and then I can start the new year with a new class. I do plan on going back to work once the baby is born, but it will be nice to be home for a few months first. And...I'll be pregnant mainly in the winter, which will be nice as far as weather and feeling hot goes. :)

So...I did not take any new photos at the one year mark, because now I'm gaining. My lowest loss is basically still the last photo I took, where I think I had lost around 85 lbs. I am looking to gain a healthy weight with this pregnancy, and luckily, I can't really overeat anyway, since my stomach is still pretty small.

I am definitely going to find out the sex of the baby, which will be at about the end of November. We've picked out some names, but don't have any firm choices yet. I think I want to do a bee theme for the nursery, for a boy or a girl. I found some cute patterns that would work for both.

So...I just wanted to share our thrilling news with you! Attached is my first ultrasound from my appt. today. We could see the heartbeat, and the doctor said everything looked normal. I fell in love at first sight. It was so cool to see this tiny baby inside me. We've been nicknaming the baby by whatever fruit the books say it's about the size of. At 7 weeks, we called it "blueb" for blueberry, 8 weeks was "Razz" for raspberry, and now it's "olive". :) I am at 9 weeks and 3 days, which is where I measured I would be based on my last period.

We look forward to taking you along this new journey with us--pregnancy!! I couldn't be happier to be here now. Love to you all!

One Year Anniversary

What an emotional past few days this has been for me, in a good way. :) I meant to post on Friday, and then I didn't have time to take 1 year pictures yet since I tracked out and my parents are in town, etc. but I decided to go ahead and post anyway...and know that the pictures will come sometime this week.

I am at a wonderful point in my journey, which will of course continue even though I've reached the year mark. I see my doctor and psychologist on August 30th, and when I go to the group session, I can't wait to share what a great year I've had. I just went through some of the past entries before writing this post, and I want to go back this week and re-read all of the posts from the beginning as well. It's amazing to think it's already been 1 year. I feel very comfortable in my new skin and SO HAPPY with all of the results. I have developed eating habits that I can continue with for the rest of my life. Thinking about where I was before the surgery, how I felt physically and emotionally, compared to what I feel now is nothing short of amazing. You're probably going to get sick of how many times I say this...but the surgery truly has changed my life!!

I'm certainly not perfect--I still eat things sometimes that I probably shouldn't, don't get enough exercise, and I would still like to lose more weight. But, even if I stay right where I am for a while, I would be perfectly content. I no longer am putting major pressure on myself to be at a certain "size" that I feel I should be at. Things feel "right" as I am now, and that gives me such a feeling of peace and contentment.

I am doing wonderfully with the amount of water I drink, the portions I eat (rarely, if ever feeling sick afterwards), the vitamins/pills, the energy I have, the way I look, how I feel "cold" and need a sweater in the middle of a hot carolina summer, etc. :) Those positives completely outweigh any negatives I could possibly feel.

So...stay tuned for my year picture update this week. I am at about an 86 lb. loss, and I hover between 172-175 lbs. I did lose the 70% of the excess weight, which is what the doctors say is 'the average' post surgery. I still look to lose more in the future, but I am very content at this point. How wonderful that is to say and more importantly, feel. :)

Thanks to everyone for following along this journey with me, which is still not over. I will continue to post as new events pop up, and good things come our way. Love to you all!

Summer is here!

WOW--long time, no post! There have been a few times that I've thought of posting in the last few months, and then I'd get side tracked and forget. Life has been good. In reading my last post, my feelings have done a complete 180 since then. Thank you all for your positive comments from that blog, and the support everyone continues to show me. (Spencer just brought me my slippers without asking--he's adorable!) I am down about 90 pounds now, and I'm just happy as a clam, enjoying being the size I am. Yes, I'd like to lose more, but I decided that I am not going to stress and just enjoy what I've lost so far. Chris and I have our photo shoot today, which he bought me for my birthday. I can't wait to put some new professional pictures on the walls!

Eating has been going well. I am doing well with my choices, and I feel I've found a good routine. Exercise has been lacking lately, so I need to get back into that. I know that is the one thing that will really make the scale move again. My goal now is to lose 100 pounds by my one year appt. at the end of August. I know I can do it!

So...nothing ground breaking has been going on, which is why I haven't posted. Thank you to everyone for all of the ways you continue to support me since the surgery! :):):) Now Chris and I are going to teach Spencer how to get refills on our coffee. ;)

To post or not to post...that is the question

Ok...here we go. You may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while. I have been struggling with what to write, because I'm not really sure what I'm feeling about things at this point. I have days where I'm positive, days where I'm discouraged, and days where I'm somewhere in between. On my positive days, I didn't really want to blog because I knew I had been struggling and I didn't just want to paint a rosy picture like nothing was wrong. On my discouraged days, I didn't want to post because I thought if I told people what I've been struggling with, everyone would try and offer advice and suggestions, and frankly I didn't want to hear anyone's advice. Today is one of those so-so days, so maybe I can communicate my feelings in a way that is more neutral.

On my discouraged days, I am upset that the scale hasn't really moved in a month, and I haven't lost that much total in the last few months. I berate myself for grazing in between meals, not exercising regularly like I should, having sweets, snacking on carbs versus protein...the list goes on and on. Chris has sometimes made comments to me like--"Are you hungry...should you be eating that? Do you need that ice cream? I just don't want to see you falling into old habits." I know he loves me and wants things to be successful for me after the surgery. I've heard so many stories where people have had gastric bypass and then gain a lot of their weight back. I've read Carnie Wilson's books, and saw an article recently where she had gained 50+ pounds back after her pregnancies, etc, and she hasn't lost back to her post surgery weight. I'm realizing now more than ever the saying, "the surgery is a tool for weight loss, not a cure". There are many food habits I've had for 25 years and in 7 months after a weight loss surgery I can't expect that those things will be erased. Now is getting into the hard part--where I'm going to have to actually work to lose the next 40-50 pounds, whereas the first 85 pounds "seem" like they came off easier. Some people have made comments to me like, "How much more weight do you want to lose?--You look so great now that if you stayed like this, wouldn't you still be happy?" I am very happy about my weight loss so far, and still can't believe sometimes how much I've lost. But, I definitely want to lose more and get down to an "average" weight for my height.

On my positive days, I remember what I've come through to get to this point and give myself a break. The doctors have said that I will hit a plateau, so this is probably normal, what I'm experiencing. I am wearing 6 dress sizes less than I was, fit into clothing at all stores, can run for 25 minutes straight, etc. etc. etc. all of the things I've been celebrating for the past few months. I am eating WAY less calories than I used to, I'm eating more healthy--much less eating out and fast food, exercising more than I used to, eating more protein, smaller meals, not feeling sick, haven't had dumping syndrome...etc. On those days, I try to celebrate what I have come through, how I've changed so far, and notice all of the changes in my body that have occured. When Chris and I were talking this weekend, and I was mentioning things that I needed to change about my eating habits, we talked about how I hate to restrict myself--in a lot of areas, not just food. He said, luckily now when I make some changes to my diet, I can see real results quickly. I might lose 2 pounds by the end of the week, and that would be my lowest all time weight after the surgery. That is an encouraging thought, whereas before the surgery even losing 2 pounds seemed like nothing compared to what I still had to go.

So here I am--on a so-so day. Last week I made some goals for myself to follow--chart my food in "lose-it", only eat during mealtimes, exercise three times, and eat my protein first. I've been doing pretty well since I've done that, and lost 1.5 pounds. I cleaned out the pantry some of the foods I had allowed myself to buy, and hopefully without the temptation, snacking won't be an issue. I've only taken protein rich snacks to school like string cheese, yogurt, nuts, stuff like that, instead of crackers, 100 calorie packs, baked chips, etc. When I'm in a neutral day, I don't beat myself up, but I just realize what needs to be done and take steps to get it done.

Part of me didn't want to post about this because I like to put on a smile at school and out and about and be the positive person that everyone loves. I still feel that way, but I wanted everyone to know too that I do struggle and have times where I'm not perfect. I just paused when writing that last line because it really hits the nail on the head--I'm not perfect. I'm very hung up on how people perceive me, and I want to be seen as "with it", "together", "organized", and "in control". I believe I have strived to show those qualities in every other area of my life, because I never felt that way in regards to my weight. Throughout this journey so far, I have felt in control and like I had everything together with my weight loss. For the first time now since the surgery, I've realized that I'm going to have to work to keep seeing the successes I've had so far. It's hard for me to admit that I'm struggling, but I know that I do need the support from my family and friends to get through this phase post surgery, just as much as I did getting over the physical and mental parts of the surgery as well.

Thanks for walking along with me, even when I hit a bump. :)

85!!!

I hit the big 85 lb. mark this morning! That's like the size of one of one of my tallest boys in my class! :) Chris made some comparison photos today, since I hit that next milestone, and after I came home from shopping he surprised me with this cool video. (it plays music, in case you're at work :)



It is so cool to see the weight just melt off...



The comparison photo shows the changes that have happened, even since 77 pounds, which confirms the fact that I'm still losing inches despite the fact that the scale hasn't gone down much. Chris made a good point--when I first started losing weight, it was probably more of my muscles with a little bit of fat. Now, as I'm building my muscles through exercise, I'm mainly losing fat which is harder to come off. I went running 3 times last week, and Chris is back at it with me. Yesterday, we went for 20 minutes!! We had a 5 min warm up, 20 minutes of jogging, and a 5 minute cool down. What an accomplishment!! The next run tomorrow is back to being a little easier again. The program wants you to really push it, and then ease back a little. We've decided to do The Second Empire 5K on May 2nd. We're on the 6th week of couch to 5K, and once we finish the 9 weeks, we're going to start back at the beginning with the program, but instead of alternating walking/running, we're going to run the whole time and alternate our pace. Chris came up with that idea today, and I thought that sounded good. Not that I'm trying to become really fast necessarily, but it's good to have a program to follow and it keeps us motivated and focused.

My birthday is on Tuesday and I will be 32. As I've been thinking about my birthday last week and where I thought I'd be when I was 32, the thought of children has entered my mind. When I was younger and had just gotten married, I thought I'd have 2 kids by now. In all that I have gone through in this journey over the past 7 months, I am so glad that I will be healthy and ready physically to have kids once it happens. Going through the surgery and everything since then has been life changing, and I think it would have been totally different if I had kids to worry about. So, as I always tell myself, everything happens for a reason and it is obviously God's plan that I went through this first before having kids.

I bought a skirt today at Target in a size 12! It was a little snug, but I bought it knowing it should fit well soon. Well...lots of exciting things this week. :) Yay for spring!

Chugging Along...

I have been doing really well the past few weeks. I enjoyed my track out, just catching up on things, working on stuff at the house, and at the end I even enjoyed my time with Chris while he was recovering from his surgery. It was a much needed break, and I'm glad I had nowhere to go, and not much to do. Sometimes you just need that kind of track out. :) The weather has been beautiful and we're coming into my favorite season--Spring! I love the colors, the flowers blooming, starting to wear pastels and short sleave shirts, and decorating for Easter.

My total weight loss this morning is 84 pounds. So, on the scale I am still showing a bit of a plateau. My weight has been very up and down the past two weeks as I've been going through my cycle. It has been about 45 days since my last one, so despite being very irratic I'm glad it's happening! At my highest, I never really felt the effects of water weight with my cycle, but this time I definitely noticed it.

Even though the scale has been slightly moving, I've noticed so many other positive changes lately. I got my wedding rings resized to a 6.5 from a 9!!!!!! I could not believe that I was able to go that small...when the guy told me he thought that's what it would be I thought, seriously?? But he was right. I also got them soldered together, and it's such a nice feeling to actually have them fit, versus me being afraid they are going to fall off. I am now wearing a size 14, from a 24. I can't tell you how exciting it is to go into all regular stores and be able to fit into everything there. The best is when I take back a pair of pants in a 14 and 16, and the 16 is too big! The last time I wore a size 14 was in high school, my senior year, when I was first dating Chris. I pulled out my favorite St. Mary's sweatshirt, from the Undatettes club I was in. It's so cool to wear a shirt that has the years 94-95 on the back, and have it even be a little big. :) The other exciting clothes news is that I have bought two t-shirts in a size large!! Kelly, Tammy and I went to Sanitary Fish Market in Morehead City last weekend, and I wanted to get a new shirt since I have two other ones in an XL and XXL. Kelly held up a women's cut large to my back and we decided that's the one I would get, because certainly I would be able to wear it in a few weeks when it's warmer out. We got back to the condo and I put it on, and it FIT!!! I can't tell you how excited I was. I don't remember the last time I wore a large t-shirt...it was probably in 5th grade. ;) Then, Chris and I decided to go to the State game in Greensboro, and since my only red shirt right now is a turtleneck I needed a new State shirt. I went to Alummni Hall at Crabtree, and got the cutest State shirt in a large. My problem with t-shirts in the past, is the way that XXL shirts are cut is that there are really long arms (assuming that people who are that size are probably tall) and the shirts themselves are long. Sometimes they looked like a dress on me! I always needed that size for my chest and my stomach, so it ended up looking ridiculous everywhere else. These large shirts seem to fit me everywhere...the arms are the perfect length, and the middles are form fitting but also have enough room. I couldn't be happier that I can wear that size now, and I can't wait to buy a medium next! After I get ready later on, I'll post some pictures with my new shirts. :) I'm waiting to do another comparison picture when I am down 85 pounds, so hopefully that will be this week.

My Couch to 5K program has been going well, and I've even been doing it by myself! Chris wasn't allowed to run for 2 weeks after his surgery, so I've been going alone. I can't believe that I am able to run for 16 minutes now. The last time I went, I completely beat my distance from the time before! I like running with Chris, but there is also something so liberating in going by myself because I am motivated enough to exercise by myself and don't need a buddy there to keep pushing me!! I am pushing myself, where in the past, I used to make a bunch of excuses not to exercise, and just to "take it easy" and not push myself. I would tell myself that at least I was exersizing, and didn't feel the need to "beat" any times or distances. Now I want to challenge myself, and keep getting better.

Despite the fact that the scale hasn't showed much loss lately, I still have so much to celebrate. So, I am confident that as long as I'm doing what I've been told to do, the scale will start catching up to all of the other awesome things I'm seeing. :)

Coping with the dreaded "P" word

So, I haven't written in a while, and you're probably wondering...how much has she lost?

Well,

here it is...

wait for it...

drum roll please...

in the month of February, I've lost...

...


...


...


2.4 POUNDS!!!

(can you sense my sarcasm?)

Oh yes, that's right...I've been dealing with the dreaded 6 month

P-L-A-T-E-A-U!!!!

Okay, enough with the dramatics. :) This month, my weight loss has really slowed down. After adding up the totals I've lost over the past 6 months, here's where things lie:

August 12-31: 17.8 lbs.
September: 16 lbs.
October: 14.8
November: 13.2
December: 10.4
January: 8.2
February: 2.6

So, on this past Monday, I met with Dr. Sudan for my 6th month visit. Before my visit, here were my notes in my journal:

Is this typical?

I've noticed I need to be:
-focusing more on protein being the main part of my meal
-I've worked on being better with no grazing in between meals
-replace sweets with fruit
-exercise needs to be consistent
-chart my eating in 'lose it', to look for patterns and discourage grazing

So, I talked with Dr. Sudan about all of these things. He said that yes, it is typical for people to hit a plateau at the 6 month point. In November, at the 3 month mark, I'd lost about 35% of my excess weight. At this visit, I've lost 55% of my excess weight. They say at a year, typically people lose 70% of their excess weight, so I'm right on track with that. (but of course, I'd like to be able to lose more than the 70% if I can) At my November appt. I was at 44% body fat, and now I'm at 36% body fat, which is also very good. He said that I may not be noticing the weight coming down on the scale, but if my body fat is going down, that's the most important thing.

Why do I put so much importance on the numbers on the scale? I've heard through weight watchers, nutri-system, etc...all of the many programs that I've done, that the pounds are only one way to measure weight loss success. There is also- measurements, clothes fitting better, more energy, body fat percentage, gaining muscle, how you feel about yourself, exercise being easier, etc. that are important in a weight loss journey. Yet, I've found myself so worried that I haven't lost a half a pound a day like I've done the past few months, and I'm beating myself up over it.

Part of this 'self-monitoring' I've been doing is good. The notes I wrote before my appt. with Dr. Sudan are true. I've noticed that I've been eating more and more what I call, "combination meals". Things that have a high amount of protein, but also have carbs in them as well. Chimichangas, pasta dishes, sandwiches, etc. have protein as the base, but also have the tortillas, pasta, and bread as well, and then I can't eat the protein first, which would fill me up. The other night I made some pork roast and mixed vegetables. I ate one piece of the pork roast, and felt full. I really don't ever feel full with the other dishes I mentioned, and I just stop eating when I feel I've eaten a small portion. Eating that pork/vegetable meal reminded me that those meals are what I should be eating more of, and not these combination meals. However, before the surgery, my habits for 30+ years have been to keep my food seperate, but to eat a bite of meat, a bite of carb, and then a bite of veggies. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself to think that in 6 months I can change a behavior that I've currently been used to for 30 years.

They say that tastes can change after surgery, and I've found that to be true. Before surgery, I used to crave salty things--chips, pretzels, fries, pizza, etc. Now, for the first time ever, I crave sweets. Yup--peanut butter M&Ms, Reese's, now and laters, and ice cream--all sweets that I've like before, but didn't really need a bunch of. Of course, I'm not eating a lot of those foods--maybe 10 M&Ms, versus a handfull, 2-3 Now and laters instead of a whole pack, etc. but I know that overall they are still pure sugar and not "needed" in my diet. So, I'm going to try to replace those sweets with fruit more often. Now is not really the season for fruit, but I've gotten some strawberries, and my new favorite-pears. That has definitely helped curve some of those cravings, and of course even though they have more calories, they're giving me vitamins and nutrients as well.

For Lent, one of the things I wanted to work on was committing to 4 days of exercise a week. The couch to 5K program has still been going well, but for the first week of my track out, we didn't do hardly any of the routine. Things kept "getting in the way" and I didn't make it a priority. Since then, I've committeed myself back to doing it routinely, and I'm proud to say that even though Chris can't exercise right now due to his septoplasty and bi-terbinate reduction surgery, I still went on my own yesterday, and even started the next 'week's schedule without him. I ran for 16 minutes total!!! After I came back in the house, I shouted, "I am awesome!" and he was so proud of me. I'm going to take Spencer for a walk today, and continue with the program, even though Chris can't go. Being tracked out has made things easier, but I've realized that when I go back, if I can't go on the day I'm "supposed" to go, then I just go the next day. I need to be more flexible with the schedule, to just make sure that I do 4 days in the week and no less.

So, with charting my food, watching the sweets, eating protein first, and exercising, I'm slowly starting to see the scale move a little in the right direction. After my post surgery group appt. on Tuesday, I wrote these notes as a reminder:

-compare yourself to yourself--this means I can't compare myself and my weight loss to other people who have had the surgery, since everyone is so different.
-if I'm seeing a plateau, which can be typical at 6 months, I probably need to change some behaviors to get things on the right track.
-don't weigh every day--it's important to weigh a few times a week to make sure I'm on track, but weighing daily is probably going to make me crazy. This one is really hard, since I've written down my weight every day for the past 3 years, but I'm going to try to go to every other day.
-once a day make eating the main focus--sit at a table, and really focus on chewing slowly, and not get distracted by the TV, computer, etc.
-don't skip meals--if I'm tempted to graze two hours after I've last eaten, wait an hour instead and have another small meal instead.

So...armed with all of these tools I'm going to:
1) stay positive
2) realize that this is typical, but I can do things to change it
3) committ to eating protein first, eating more fruit, and exercising regularly
4) stop "worrying" about everything and focus more on making the positive changes

Wish me luck... :)

Still going strong...

Chris is at the driving range, and when he gets back, we will be going for a jog/walk workout--in Week 3 of the Couch to 5k program. This is the longest I've ever been consistent with a program like this, and I am so excited that it's working! I went to the gym pretty regularly with Kelly when we were doing Weight Watchers, but since then, nothing has been this consistent. It's only 3 weeks, but that can seem like a lifetime when you've tried exercise routines and it never made it past the first day. :)

I am down 82 pounds, and staying pretty consistent with losing 2 pounds a week. This is satisfying, and I am perfectly okay with it. People may be wondering how much/what types of food I am able to eat now, so I thought I'd give a chronicle of what I ate yesterday for you inquiring minds...

Saturday:
Breakfast-8:15 Usually every morning I drink my one cup of coffee (regular caff.) before I eat my breakfast. Since I make it at home and take it to school, obviously I don't want it to get cold. This means that sometimes I am able to eat my breakfast during morning work, when the kids are arriving, and once in a while, I have to wait until my planning which is at 8:45, so basically that eliminates a morning snack. We did have school yesterday, and I had one cup of Kix cereal with 1 cup of milk. The kids thought it was a little funny that I was eating my cereal that way, but I told them that since I have to take longer to eat cereal, I don't want it to get soggy--so instead, I chew some Kix and wash it down with the milk. :) The one cup of milk has about 9 grams of protein, and the cereal has 2 grams, so this is a good breakfast protein-wise.

Snack- at about 10:45, I had a package of 100 calorie crackers with peanut butter-about 3 grams of protein

Lunch- At 1:30, when Chris got home from the job fair, we got a medium pepperoni pizza from Bella Italia. I had almost one slice. Since the NY style pizza slices are a little bigger, and have a bunch of crust, I usually eat the main part and give the rest of the crust to Spencer. This piece probably had about 11 grams of protein.

Snack- Around 4:30, I had about a handful of Chex mix with M&Ms in it, and some wheat thins. This was something I slowly munched on while I read a book, and Chris was watching the State game. Not really a lot of protein in this snack, but it was goooooood. :)

Dinner- At 8:30, I made a half of a grilled cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread, had a serving of chips, and one mini chocolate chip cookie. Later on, I had two more of those mini cookies- about 45 calories each, with a 1/2 cup milk.

So, my total calories for the day was about 1,000, and my protein was probably about 50 grams.

I've been good about not grazing in between these little meals since the holidays, and I believe I've started feeling little twinges of hunger. They said this would happen at about the 6 month mark, which will be in about 3 weeks. Since hunger can be so psychological, I can't tell if it is really happening, or if I'm imagining it. I haven't been keeping track of my food in the Lost It program religiously, but I do try to keep track of my protein intake during the day. I figure that if I start slowing the weight loss again, get to a plateau, or find myself grazing, I'll track it to see how much I'm consuming.

I have noticed a mild amount of hair loss, which can occur 2-4 months post surgery. The rapid weight loss can cause this, and the only real remedy is to make sure you're eating enough protein. What I've noticed is more hair on my shirts, in my brush, and sometimes if I just run my fingers through my hair, a couple of strands come out. Luckily I don't think it's noticeable, and they say it should grow back. I have such thin hair anyway, so I hope this is as bad as it will get.

Throughout this past week, I've had some periods of feeling nauseated, and have thrown up a few times. This is pretty uncharacteristic for me post-surgery, because it is a feeling I have during the day, and not right after I've eaten. A few months ago when I'd feel sick, it was right after a meal, and either because I ate too fast, or too much, when I was still learning the correct portion size for me. Lately, it's been something I will feel for a few hours, and if I try to eat something little, it will come back up. I took a pregnancy test a week ago, and it was negative, but of course my friends at school are thinking that's what it is. :) We'll see...but I will just say that it's highly unlikely.

Well, Chris is home now, so we're off. He said it's warmed up a bit, so it should be nice out. When we've gone at night, I've gotten all bundled up to go out, so it will be nice to go during the day. Three days until track out--can't wait! We're going to the beach this next weekend for Erica's 30th birthday, and then I leave for a short visit to West Palm Beach, FL to see my parents. I bought a cute pair of short shorts at Old Navy, which I can't wait to wear. I'll post some pictures of my cute new outfits soon. :)

Lifestyle Change

I've been hearing this phrase for the past 15 years, and I was always striving to make that a reality. I can finally say that this surgery has completely changed my lifestyle. Before the surgery, I didn't know what my life would be like afterwards--would I be able to shift the focus off food, and onto other important things in my life? Even in the first few weeks post surgery, when I was so obsessed with food, I didn't know if I could do it. I am so glad to say now that I have successfully changed my lifestyle. Since I know more what I can and can't eat and the portion sizes that are right for me, I feel I have jumped a huge hurdle in the learning curve that Patrick, my nutritionist at Duke, told me would take a while to develop after surgery. I have accepted that exercise needs to be an important part of my new "lifestyle", and now by doing the couch to 5k program, I've made that a reality. Since I've been able to get those things into place, I've found other things in my life are able to shine through. I've been wanting to go back to Church regularly for a while, and since the beginning of the year, I've been attending mass on a weekly basis. Lately so many things have been clicking into place, and I attribute that to the shift I've made on my priorities.

I am down 80.2 pounds now--and in the 170s!!! I lost about 8 pounds in January overall. I checked my measurements yesterday, and I've lost 15 inches in my waist! I have two appointments at Duke over my track out, where I'll have my 6 month visit with my surgeon and the psychologist. It blows my mind---6 months from the surgery, and I was able to lose 80 pounds--versus the year and a half it took me to lose 50 when I did Weight Watchers. Things definitely haven't been easy, and I've had to make many adjustments, but I feel like a lot of that is behind me now, and I can focus on losing more weight and seeing what the next 35 plus years of my life are going to be like. I spent the first half of my life struggling with my weight, and now in the next half I will be healthier and wiser.

Do I regret any of the choices I made in my 32 years up until now? Absolutely not. I have a wonderful life, and I didn't approach this surgery thinking it would make my life infinitely better. What the surgery has done, is given me the tools to live a healthier life, and make me able to have children. What a success!!

Thank you for being here with me on my journey. I am by no means finished, but as far as lifestyle changes go--I've finally made it a reality!!!

Week 1= Success!

I have made no secrets about the fact that the one thing I'm struggling with most post surgery is exercise. After week 1 of the 'Couch to 5K' program, I think I may have found the answer. :)

In 5th grade, I was one of the fastest girl runners in my class. I really liked exercise when I was younger--took gymnastics in elementary school, enjoyed PE, took walks to my friends' houses, ran around in the backyard, etc. In high school at Saint Mary's I was even on the swim team, and didn't dread exercise like I do now. I guess adding on the extra weight through the end of high school and college, really made exercise more difficult, and therefore I just didn't want to do it. If you haven't noticed, I really don't like doing things I'm not good at. :)

This week, although not really being "excited" to exercise, I definitely didn't dread it, make excuses...etc. We went on Sunday, Tuesday, and Saturday night. I even took Spencer for a walk on Monday too, so I exercised 4 times last week. I like the format of the program--the first week we went out for 35 minutes- 5 min warm up, 90 sec. walking/60 sec. jogging for 25 minutes then a 5 min. cool down. With the game on Wednesday, rain on Thursday/getting ready for my party friday, and my staff party on friday, we couldn't go between tuesday and saturday. I was really proud of us that we did in fact go on a saturday night, and we even beat our distance from Tuesday! I am looking forward to going again tonight, which like I said, hasn't been the case with exercise for a long time.

Here are the things I like about the program: we can go in our neighborhood, it is strenuous enough that I feel like I'm working hard, but I'm not dying the whole time, it's easy to follow--Chris has the app on his Iphone, and it tells us when to walk/run, and the time passes quickly, since you're alternating between walking and jogging. It's amazing to think that I'll be able to jog/run for 30 minutes when we're done with the 9 weeks. When Chris was training before for 5ks and his triathalon, he said running made him feel the most energized and he got addicted to it. That is something I never thought I'd achieve--getting addicted to exercise. Here's hoping... ;)

Going in the right direction

When I first saw the latest picture comparison, Chris said..."What is the first word that comes to mind? We both said, "WOW" at the same time. :) I can't believe all of the changes my body is going through. I am down 77 pounds today, and I'm wearing a new pink tank top and shorts in the picture. In the last week, I've gotten my eating back on track. It's amazing how being back in your routine can affect your diet. I don't find myself grazing and I'm back to more regular meals. I've cooked a lot at home, and I'm tracking my food daily.

Chris and I decided to try the "couch to 5k" program again, which I tried to start about 6 weeks after surgery when I wasn't ready. Last night we went for 30 minutes--5 min. warm-up, 20 minutes of '60 second jog/90 sec. walk' rotation, and then 5 min. of cool down. I was able to jog at all of the times I was supposed to, and it was a wonderful feeling! I haven't been able to jog for a period of time, in a very long time. That program is 3 days a week, and we're going to get some dumbells to be able to do our weight lifting at home too. I'm starting to notice the need to tone certain areas due to the weight loss, so I know that starting the weights is really important. I took Spencer for a 20 minute walk today as well. I think if I stick to the harder exercise three days a week, I might be more willing to take shorter walks with Spencer the other days, and not feel guilty that all I'm doing is walking for 20 minutes. Since he's gotten older, he can't make it much past 20 minutes anyway.

To also help with exercise, I've decided to start an Outdoors club with my class after school on Thursdays. We are going to focus on fitness and exercise, along with gardening in the spring. I have 16 kids in my class who are going to attend, and I think this will help keep us motivated to have an active lifestyle. Since I've been doing a lot of shopping lately, I also have been parking near the back of the lot, so I have further to walk inside. Even the little things can help. :) I know that exercise is the key to keeping the weight loss steady at this point after surgery.

Today was pretty productive--I met Kelly and the boys for lunch at the mall, ran a few errands, and wrote 5 pages about my education and staff development, community involvement, educational philosophy, and education issues of today to submit for my Teacher of the Year paperwork. I had forgotten how much of a chore it is to write a paper! But, in order to be considered for Wake County Teacher of the Year, you have to submit entries on these topics. It was actually good to think about my educational philosophy and be able to articulate it. I've sent the work off to my editor, who I'm sure will come back with at least a few suggestions. :) Be easy on me, honey!

I'm off to watch some Monday night TV while Chris is at class. Bye bye.

It's been a while...

It has been a long time since I've posted! The holidays were a wonderful and busy time, and now I finally feel like I'm back into my routine. We returned home from Dallas very late Monday night, so this week I've been pretty tired at night, even though I've wanted to blog. Now, since it's Friday, and we had a 2 hour delay due to the talk of snow (even though we didn't get any) I'm rested and relaxed, and able to write. :)

Pounds-wise, I'm down 74 pounds. Things have started slowing down a little. I lost 12 pounds in December, compared to the 20-25 pounds/month I had been losing before. This has caused me to think about my eating to evaluate what's going well and what I need to work on. I know that things are not going to continue at the rate they were, and it's a big change from the past to lose 15 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas instead of gaining! I'd like to lose 55-60 more pounds. It's amazing to think that in just 4 months, I've lost over half of the weight I'd like to lose. Every time I go shopping at my favorite new stores and think about the sizes I'm wearing, I sigh with contentment. And these aren't even the sizes I'll be at in a few months! I cleaned out my old clothes that don't fit anymore, and it filled 6 large trash bags! I had the VVA pick it up over the holidays, and my closet looks so bare. One good thing about my weight loss slowing is that I can wear the pretty clothes I've gotten lately a little longer. It was crazy to think that some of the clothes I've only worn a few times were too big already and had to be given away. I'm trying not to buy too much, but I can't help myself! ;) (and the gift cards I got over Christmas are burning a hole in my wallet...)

The one pitfall I found myself enveloped in over the holidays is grazing. This was especially the case in Dallas. My family went there for New Year's to see my aunt and uncle, and spend time together since we hadn't seen them for Christmas. It was a nice trip to relax and enjoy spending time with each other. In thinking about my eating habits while we were there, I would graze between meals...which is something the doctor had warned us all about. Even though I can't consume as much food as I did in the past, eating between meals when you're not hungry is not a habit I want to bring back. It really showed me how quickly old bad habits can return. I'm not beating myself up over it, but I decided that I need to make a change, since I'd like to see my weight loss continuing at a good rate. About a month ago, I stopped tracking my foods into my food diary. I decided for a while again, I'm going to enter it back in to be more accountable. I figured before, since I knew I was being conscious of how much protein I was getting, it didn't really matter if I entered it into my program, but now I'll enter it for the purpose of tracking my eating again.

I would like to start lifting weights, along with a cardio exercise plan. Chris and I are going to set up a plan to go a few nights a week so he can help me with the weights, and then I can go with my friend Kelly after school the other days. This is an area I continue to struggle with having the motivation to do. Like I was talking about with friends last night, I guess summer and bathing suit season needs to be my motivation now...to tone some areas being affected by the rapid weight loss.

I need to buy a new hot pink camisole and gray shorts, and then I'll take another comparison picture at 75 pounds down. I also want to take some pictures with my pretty new outfits too.

Well, Chris and I have a fun date night planned--dinner at Firebirds to share a club sandwich and BLT salad, and then shopping to spend our gift cards! :) I love shopping with Chris, and he usually never wants to go, so I'm super excited he wants to tonight--it was even his idea! Have a great weekend everyone! :)